Tuka Mhane...: May 2010

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Monday, May 24, 2010

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Four things a woman should know

How to look like a girl,

How to act like a lady,

How to think like a man,

And how to work like a dog.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Monday, May 10, 2010

How to identify different citizens of India

Scenario 1

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.

That's MUMBAI

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Scenario 2

Two guys are fighting.. Both of them take time out and call their friends on

their mobiles. Now 50 guys are fighting.

You are definitely in PUNJAB !!!

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Scenario 3

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along and tries to make peace.

The first two get together and beat him up.
That's DELHI

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Scenario 4

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.

A guy comes along and quietly opens a Chai-stall.

That's AHMEDABAD
BIZNIS IS BIZNIS

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Scenario 5

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes.

He writes a software program to stop the fight.

But the fight doesn't stop because of a virus in the program.

That's BANGALORE
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Scenario 6

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.

A guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense.

Peace settles in...

That's CHENNAI

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Scenario 7

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth

and they start arguing about who's right.

You are in KOLKATA

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Scenario 8

Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes from nearby house and says,

"don't fight in front of my place, go zumwhere else and keep fighting".

That's KERALA !

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And the best one is ....

Scenario 9

Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer.

All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home as friends.

You are in GOA !!!

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Kya loge ? Kuchh Nai !!!

Whenever you ask people visiting your home, "kya loge?"
The usual reply has always been "Kuchh Nai".
Finally I have found "Kuchh Nahi", so feel free to serve your friends whenever they say "Kuchh Nai Lenge"
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If you doubt me then you can visit this...
www.kuchhnai.com

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Marathi.. Bhannat PJ !!

Maths special: एकदा x अणि e^xखेळायला जात असतात..अचानक x पळून जातो कारण
तिकडून differentiatorयेत असतो. e^x माज करत जातो आणि differentiatorला
म्हणतो मला तुझ्यामुळे काहीच होणार नाही कारण differentiate करून पण मी
e^x च राहीन.. differentiator वेड्यासारखा हसू लागतो आणि म्हणतो.."पोरा,
पण मी d/dy आहे ".

बोट स्पेशल #1 : एकदा रवींद्रनाथ टागोर, सरोजिनी नायडू आणि जयप्रकाश
नारायण एका बोटीतून जात होते ....अचानक वादळ येतं आणि बोट बुडते(कुणालाच
पोहता येत नसतं) ..बाकी २ जण बुडतात पण फक्त रवींद्रनाथ टागोर वाचतात ...
का ?????...........................................कारण
.......................................................................त्यांना
वाचायची आवड असते !!!

बोट स्पेशल #2 : एकदा दोन वेडे बोटीतून नदी पार करत असतात(कोणाला पोहता
येत नसते आणि वाचायची आवडत पण नसते :P )..अचानक १ वेडा संपूर्ण बोट
पाण्यात बुडवतो ...तरी ते दोघं मरत नाहीत ...कसं काय
???........................................................कारण
.................................ते त्याच्या हाताचं बोट असतं
...............................

भिकारी आणि जोशी काका परत भिकारी-साहेब काहीतरी खायला द्या.चार दिवस
उपाशी आहे. जोशी काका -थांब हा.बघतो घरात काही आहे का खायला. [पाच
मिनिटानी] तुला एक दिवस शिळी पोळी-भाजी चालेल? भिकारी--[आनंदाने]होय
साहेब .चालेल की. जोशी काका- ठीक आहे मग उद्या दुपारी याच वेळेला ये.आज
ठेवून देतो उद्यासाठी.....

एक भिकारी जोशी काकांना : मालक एक रुपया द्या.....तीन दिवसापासून काही
खाल्ले नाही ....जोशी काका (खोचकपणे) : अरे ३ दिवसापासून उपाशी आहेस तर
मग एक रुपयाचं काय करशील ? भिकारी तेवढ्याच खोचकपणे म्हणतो : वजन करून
बघेन किती कमी झालंय ३ दिवसात...